Sadly, it seems that the ability to disagree without destroying the relationship is a lost art. People seem to have forgotten how to constructively express their differences of opinion without digressing into a name-calling free-for-all. Interactions on social media are an exasperating example of our society’s loss of civility—especially during these unprecedented times. Certainly, there are times when the other…
“You have a bad attitude!” Even though we know people who could benefit from that negative feedback, that ugly wording is not the best way to share it. There are two reasons that saying “you have a bad attitude” is not the best way to get results: Those harsh words are likely to get a defensive response. It provides…
“People hearing without listening” is one of the lines in the iconic song The Sound of Silence which I recently ran across on YouTube. The listening challenge, however, is when you’re interacting with someone who is “talking without speaking.” They may be talking but not saying what they really mean. Or their non-verbal actions convey that they have something more…
One of the best things a supervisor can do to build trust is to openly listen to an employee’s feedback—and give an honest reply about what will happen to their suggestion. Then act on it! In my first book If You Can’t Say Something Nice What DO You Say, I share the following sample replies: “Thanks for your input. Although…
“We already tried that.” “That won’t work.” “That will never happen here.” Nothing will ever work according to these common comments made by the Naysayer. Or how about Sarcasm, the Naysayer’s witty cousin, who says: “Yeah right.” “Dream on.” “Good luck with that.” These roles and similar ones can hinder a group’s process by diverting the attention away from achieving…
Whether it’s at work or home, we can all benefit from becoming better at confrontation. How we handle conflict and stress is directly related to how successful and stable our relationships will be. Sometimes, the first question we ask when dealing with a tricky situation is whether we should confront or not confront. Should you confront the cranky coworker, annoying…