BLOG POST 

“You’re not the boss of me!”

Remember this popular expression we often heard as kids?  If we tried to tell someone what to do, they would immediately reply: “You’re not the boss of me!”  At least, that’s what my two younger sisters and brother would say to me, the bossy big sister.

As adults, we’re likely to get the same reaction if we use phrases that dictate like “You need to…”,  “You should…” or “You better…”

A common communication challenge as adults is gaining cooperation from others–colleagues, co-workers, bosses, even friends and family—without coming across as bossy.   Afterall, we are not the boss of them!

Here are some of my favorite phrases for requesting support and assistance from others…without being overbearing.   Or, as I sometimes like to say: “how to pull rank when you have no rank to pull!”

• Could you please…
• I would appreciate…
• Would it be possible to…?
• Would you consider…
• Would you be willing to…?
• How can we make this work?
• Could you live with it if we…?
• How might I gain your cooperation?
• What do you think about…?
• Would you be open to…?
• Would you be OK with…?
• I would like your support…
• Can we…
• Let’s…
• I need your help…
• I need you to…

These phrases will minimize your chances of getting the “you’re-not-the-boss-of-me” reaction!

What are your favorite positive phrases for requesting someone’s support?  Feel free to submit a comment below.