“I appreciate you!” has become a common, perhaps overused, phrase. The real test is whether the person’s actions support that proclamation because appreciation is an action word. Here are three actions you can take to make sure your expressions of appreciation are well received, especially at work.
Customize
When I was a supervisor in university administration some years ago, I remember recommending one of my star performers for a position on a coveted campus committee. His reaction: “Why do you keep loading me up with more work?” While I thought the recommendation was a sincere sign of appreciation, he just saw it as another task to add to his to-do list.
As I vividly recall how I missed the mark, I’m reminded that gestures of appreciation must be customized to suit the employee. (And, by the way, the same is true for colleagues, customers, and others.)
In my 20+ years as a keynote speaker, I’ve heard many similar stories from managers who meant well, but missed what mattered most to the employee. I’m reminded of one manager who shared an insight with me following my keynote at a leadership conference. She said she had been giving special plaques to outstanding employees at her quarterly meetings. But after overhearing a conversation between two employees—one said he would have preferred tickets to a local sports game and the other said he just wanted “hard cold cash”—she decided to add options. In addition to the plaque, employees could pick a perk. Cash, gift cards, sports tickets, movie passes, and even a day off became part of her standard show of appreciation.
By the way, how can you know what your employees will want as a gesture of appreciation? Ask them! Instead of guessing, it may be helpful to spend time in your one-on-one meetings to learn about their favorite things, and what makes them feel recognized. And who knows what you might discover!
Correct
On the flip side, following my keynote presentations at staff development events over the years, I’ve had many conversations with front-line employees about their reactions to expressions of appreciation from their supervisors. An interesting theme has emerged.
Tokens of appreciation are of no value if corrections are not made in problem areas.
In other words:
- Tickets to a sports team’s game are good, but it’s not so great if the employee’s requests for time off are regularly denied.
- Birthday cards are cool, but only if the employee has the resources needed to get their job done every day.
- Saying “I appreciate you” is nice, but even nicer would be fixing the glitches in a system needed to complete tasks.
Communicate
“You rock!” “You’re awesome,” and “You’re amazing!” are popular phrases for communicating appreciation these days.
However, what would be even more useful is to communicate specifically what you appreciate about the person or their actions. Specific, positive feedback will give the person an idea of what behavior you appreciate. The bonus: They are likely to repeat that positive behavior in the future!
For example, here are some words that communicate what action you appreciate:
- “I appreciate the way you followed through and resolved the customer complaint.”
- “Thank you for sharing such great ideas in today’s meeting.”
- “I love that I can count on you to get the tasks done ahead of schedule. You rock!”
In conclusion, customize, correct, and communicate are the actions that help ensure your expressions of appreciation are well received. And, by the way, it’s not just for employees. Appreciation is also an action word for clients, colleagues, and even family!
