LOL TMI OMG! I Can’t Understand What You’re Saying to Me
“I can’t understand what you’re saying to me!” That’s the reaction we may get when we overuse text talk, acronyms or corporate jargon.
It’s nice to have a simple shorthand, at work and beyond. However, it’s also important not too use it too much in order to avoid online communication conundrums and prevent misunderstandings.
As a communication keynote speaker, I sometimes share this true story of a text message disconnect between a mom and daughter communicating across generations:
Mom: What do IDK and TTYL mean?
Daughter: I don’t know. Talk to you later.
Mom: Fine! I’ll ask your sister.
The Magic Words are Still Thank You and Please, Even if You Text or Email with Ease
In the words of leadership guru John Maxwell “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much your care.”
Yet, it’s sometimes hard to convey the warmth and caring that we exude in person when we’re communicating via email.
Here’s an idea: Do a “please-and-thank you” check to make sure you’ve included either or both of these words in your email. I also refer to it as a “kindness check,” and have gotten in the habit of doing this right after I do a spell check.
For example, “Please respond by tomorrow 5pm. Thanks!” sounds better than “Respond by tomorrow 5pm.”
Please and thank you are still the magic words…and they can humanize our emails. Plus, they can make us more approachable when we use them in person too!
Bold Fonts and ALL CAPS are Email Attitude
“Why are you yelling at me?” That’s what the email recipient may be thinking when a message has ALL CAPS or bold fonts.
Sometimes my presentation participants tell me they prefer to use bold for emphasis, or ALL CAPS because they never learned the keyboard and it’s easier not to have to use the shift key.
Unfortunately, that will be perceived as “email attitude”—aggressive, overbearing, or obnoxious.
Texting While We’re Talking is Just Rude
Now that we’re all totally devoted to our devices, it’s not uncommon for someone to be talking while others are staring at their phones. Personally, I find that habit annoying.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of that situation, it’s OK to ask for a few minutes of undivided attention. Try these phrases to say what you mean in a nice way:
- “I have some exciting news to share and would love your undivided attention.”
- “I’d love to get your thoughts on something; can I steal you away from your phone for a minute?”
- “Can we put our phones on hold for a while? I’d love to spend some device-free quality time with you.”
Ditch the Email and Catch a Clue; Pick Up the Phone if Something is Bothering You
We definitely want to ditch the email and call when we know that it’s going to be a difficult conversation. Delicate dilemmas like negative feedback and sharing not-so-nice news are best handled face to face—even if virtually. At the very least, call instead of email.
Brainstorming, problem-solving, consensus-building and anything requiring a free-flowing exchange of ideas are best handled in real time.
If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say? Whatever it is Don’t Post it on Facebook Today!
We’ve all heard the expression “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Yet, it seems that the current disconcerting trend in these uncertain times is “if you can’t say something nice…post it on Facebook or X, text it or send an email!”
If you absolutely must express discontent online–and want to avoid online communication conundrums–you might want to consider my mantra: “Say what you mean, mean what you say and don’t say it mean!”
In other words, replace the blaming “you” word with a take-responsibility phrase using “I.”
For example, “I would appreciate” “I would prefer” and “I’m concerned” have a more positive impact than “you better” “you ought to” and “you always/never.” And you certainly don’t want to digress into name calling—despite disappointment or disillusionment.
To summarize, here’s my wrap-up rhyme “High Touch. High Tech. Communicate with Respect:”
LOL, TMI and OMG,
I can’t understand what you’re saying to me.
The magic words are still thank you and please
Even if you text and email with ease.
Bold fonts and all caps are email attitude
And texting while we’re talking is just rude
Ditch the email and catch a clue
Pick up the phone if something is bothering you.
If you can’t say something nice, what DO you say?
Whatever it is, don’t post it on Facebook today!
Please see the video version of my rhyme in this 30-second keynote excerpt on YouTube. And I’d love it if you would like and subscribe while you’re there!
